I was waiting at the bar to order a soda and the barman was sitting at the bar eating his food. He asked me if i was here to order to watch the news, and I said order. He said he would get me the drink then, and explained that he always respects women and doesn't leave them waiting because 'they are the mothers of our nation'. If by that he means the mothers of all Ugandan, then i suppose, yes he is correct. I thought that was a novel reason for which to respect women!
Ive got some advice on good markets to buy skirts from. I'm sick of wearing these long baggy trousers in this occasionally lovely hot weather.
yesterday evening, the retired UK psychologist, steve,who lectures at the uni and trains students in the nearby butabika hospital with psychiatric patients, caught me just as I was going into my room. We had a long chat about how it is to work here, his colleagues, the patients he sees, a bit about psychiatric conditions, about the culture within psychology professionals and how its shifted from 'which colleagues has problems' to 'everyone is dealing with their own problems', and how lots of people who go into caring professions have dealt with their own problems. and about a travelling lady who rides her bike throughout africa making a documentary about women's empowerment, sponsored by honda i think. she was here a few weeks ago. she's from paris, and her day job is costume design. we spoke about how life at red chilli is good and safe, but that its difficult because you form attachments with people and become good friends, but then they leave. so every week or so you have to start again to make new friends. i've had to re-start 3 times in 12 days. i don't think this process is good for anyone. it's the hardest part about meeting new people abroad..is that you always have to leave. we spoke about our perspectives of uganda..those we had when we first came compared to those we have now. a greater understanding of the dangers we are exposed to living in this country. how expatriates minimise these and are likely to blame foreigners for 'getting themselves into trouble' rather than ackowledge that they live in a dangerous place where violent muggings are rather more common than they would hope for. spree thinks they do this just to protect themselves and to live comfortably in this environemtn. we spoke about research, about getting it published, about community health volunteers and their role, about various NGOs, about how NGOs compete for results and funding. he didnt approve. we spoke about the yoga lessons he goes to on tuesday morning, run by am american women with 'no ounce of fat on her body whatsoever'. we spoke about sex tourism, and he said how old, fat 'white' men would come and buy services from young african women, barely women. probably teenagers. he sees these couples around. i said it was a rather strange country to come to for sex tourism, if you think about disease burden here. he spoke about the value of children here compared to the UK. i said that i think children are neglected mainly because of poverty, but he was skeptical. although we both agreed that death, whether its during childbirth or a child, is much more accepted here than in the UK. its seen as normal here, if it happens. theres no outrage. he said he wasn't sure if he'd return, and asked me if i would. I said definitely, but i have a reason to, i.e. there are people ive met here who i want to keep in contact with, and that gives me a reason to return.
it was fairly odd. sitting down at 11pm at night in uganda, talking about important things with a probably 60 year old retired psychologist who i'd met twice before. this wouldnt happen in england! haha.
Day 14
I asked my Ugandan friend, Steven, for why Ugandan seem joyful and hopefuly despite the difficulties. He said for some, poverty is not a problem because it's how they've grown up and have become accustomed to it. And some hope that, even if they have not got much now, that they will have it later in God, which basically means that they have faith that theyll be OK with God, essentially.
Anyway everyone, today was an AWESOME day!
Its 8pm and i've only just returned after leaving at 7am this morning. I was rushing to get home before sunset at 7.15 but i didn't quite make it. I felt a bit like a morphed version of cinderella, except that i have no prince charming waiting for me, just the freedom from being mugged.
So, today I spent 6 hour interviewing my participants. By the 3rd I was ready for a nap, but my translator is luckily a rather persevering person and likes to meet her targets, so we continued interviewing until 6pm and got through everyone we were meant to. I am in good spirits because even though i ask exactly the same questions to each person, new themes and new topics keep appearing. Yesterday I was identifying and labelling themes until 11pm. I need to do this tonight..but it'll be a shoddy job because i havent got the time to transcribe the interviews as that can take all day or longer. But i need to have the labelled themes to guide my interviews tomorrow. Ive got another 5 hours of interviewing tomorrow. And then the day after that too! Looking forward to the weekend and seeing my lovely little Zeke!
I zipped past UNICEF on the back of a motobike today. definitely sending them an email. i want to go and chat to them and to see what projects they're working on. id love to work with UNICEF/WHO.
Ok, let me tell you the BEST part of my day! Today is wednesday, and at kawempe they have their orphaned and vulnerable childrens projects on today. i couldnt volunteer with them because i was interviewing. but i went to say hello to the kids at about 9am. There were about 4 kids because it was still early, but some were from last week, which was nice. I went back at about 13.00, at the time when the kids had just finished bathing and were getting dressed and ready to go home. And Pauline was there! I had been hoping she would be. She was finding her clothes, and looked a little sad but not haunted like when she first arrived last time. I said hi to her but her facial expression didn't change, and she didn't come and say hello. She was just doing her own thing. I thought perhaps she'd just forgotten who I was. I wasn't surprised by that, she'd only met me once! That was fine. We would become friends again. I hung out and met some lovely kids while Pauline did her own thing. One of them was a girl of about 5 and so sweet, she liked the game tickle. everyone knows this game of course. and another kid, a boy, also about 5, loved the game 'come and catch me and then tickle me'. And another little boy, probably about 3, wanted to play too. So I had my hands full really. And then Pauline has a change of heart and strides over to me with a BIG smile and throws herself over my lap and stretches out and starts chattering away to me happily. I was overjoyed that she remembered me! So we played tickle and then she walks over to a poster, so i just play with the others. Then she comes back and calls me over, pointing up at the poster. So i pick her up and we go through some of the animals. she loves saying the words after i tell her what it is. She's a bright girl, of course, and she should be in school. I want to talk to the project manager about why she's not in school. If it's just a case of finances then I want to sponsor her to attend school. From the conversations Ive had with ugandans here, an education is the main way that people living in the slums miss out on opportunities and of course it affects their lives. So I'd love for pauline to get a good start in life, at least with education. Anyway, then the other 2 kids wanted turns to say the words on the poster so I swapped them around a few times! Then time was going on, so i had to go back to the interviews. I waved Pauline and the others goodbye!
for the last 3 days ive been in the homesick stage. But it's passing nicely, and soon im probabaly not going to want to leave! I don't feel like I fit in here, of course with the culture and everything else being so different. But i'm here with a purpose so it gives me a meaning as to why i'm here, which makes life comfortable even though i don't fit in. i love the fact that im actually having important conversations with people this time around, and that im getting to know Ugandans properly. Theres a difference between superficial chit chat and really getting to know someone. It's nice because not only are they lovely people, willing to take me around to see sights and stuff, but also they are teaching me so much about Ugandan life, which is interesting for me.
Day 15
I'm impressed with my translator. When i first met her, she told me that lots of my questions were 'not relevant' because 'of course the all exclusively breastfeed'. I thought she might be problematic in creating an atmosphere where participants feel they can be open. But actually, i just briefly explained some things about my perspective on the questions and she's been very good with participants. Im quickly learning that the older the prticipants is, the more confident they are at sharing what they know. sometimes, during the interviews, ill just be realising that they're basically making my research, and that in a way, im gaining a lot from this, more than they are. but my themes are developing nicely and im coming up with some hypotheses. I'd like to be able to work to impliment the reccomendations ill come up with at this NGO. Ok, implimentation singular. Ive got one in mind. but hey, data anlysis is in its earliest stages so who knows what ill end up with.
i learnt you can definitely eat anough chapatti today, even though they are so delicious. i had 2 for lunch and one for dinner. i was collecting data from 10am - 5pm and i was too brain dead to bother with a proper meal! so now im all chapattied out.
I was having a chat with my motorbike rider about uganda and he suggested why not become a ugandan citizen then. i want to visit more of africa, i think. oh, I am going to! just remembered, im going to the gambia in september. gosh, thats gunna be a lot at once. new culture, AND working in the hospital. hopefully my time in ugandan will have prepared me well.
i don't know how i get so dirty so quickly. all i do is sit down and chat all day and yet all my clothes end up filthy..the air itself in kampala is thick with pollution. most things i touch have a coating of dirt. The UK is seriously clean!
had another chat with steve, the uk clinical psychologist, yesterday insted of doing my data anlysis. we had a good laugh about stuff. he was working with a patient once on her phobia of spiders and in doing so he cured himself of the same thing..particularly when it jumped out of the box on him. And he told me about the work he's doing here with..well, its not easy or nice so ill leave it out. i said to him..this wouldnt happen in england. the conversations that people have here at red chilli, the open ones about raw questions about ourselves, others, life, searching questions, meaning, purposes, and so on...this rarely happens in the UK. so i don't know what it is about this environment but everyone seems to be searching, exploring both the environment they find themselves in, but also themseves. maybe its the fact that we have got away from it all, and have the time to think about these things we all think! i have no idea.
id so like a break before data collection continues. its been nother day of 5hrs of interviews with only a 10min break between 4hours of them. im not too tired to continue tomorrow, but id just like time to properly analyse my data. i get home at 7.30 and trancription can take all day. im not going to get a break until tuesday..we are even working on sunday morning! i put my foot down for saturday. im seeing zeke then :)
yesterday we bought our lunch from a local 'restaurant' - one of the shacks down the road from kawempe, which has, on its dusty floor, about 6 large pots containing potatoes ('irish'..not just any old potato!), beans, meat, rice, and 'greens'. I paid 2 pounds for about 300g of potatoes and 3 lovely pieces of meat. The people have MASSIVE lunches here. like..7 times as much carbohydrates as i'd normally eat. But i reckon its their main, if not only, meal. One ugandan friend said to me 'Emily, why do you eat so little? you know, in africa, when there is food, we eat!'. I guess this sums it up.
definitely over the homesick stage now. thats good. and im still irritated by the evening traffic. i have little patience with it. its not fun. its boring and annoying. but everything else, i am really enjoying :)
Day 16
The motorbike ride to work today, in the rain, was VERY hairy. We were often trapped only maybe 50cm from the huge wheels of a lorry and multiple vans..one small slip and my limbs would have become carpets under the wheels. At the other times, we'd drive on the wrong side of the road for a bit, and I'd just hope we wouldn't clip someone's mirrors and end up under someone else's wheels. When the roads are so congested, if you fall its all over for you. We'd also stop with half the bike literally resting on the back bumper of a car at the lights, so that if it moved back before starting off, even by a fraction of a second, we'd be on the ground when all the cars move forwards. Once, a minivan behind us bumped into my leg.
At work, one member of staff said he could take me to the district hospital and show me all of the motorbike drivers who are in with serous head injuries or fractures. He said, when motorbikes have accidents, the riders get seriously injured. So I'm giving up my faster commute to work. I don't even have a helmet and I don't fancy a life lived with a head injury.
The data collection went really well today. I accidentally fell asleep for an extra 2 hours yesterday evening, so i got about 7 hours sleep in total which made all the difference. The women seemed to enjoy talking to me, they had questions afterwards. Once very thoughtful participant asked a very interesting question - if mixed feeding has a higher risk of HIV transmissino than exclusive breastfeeding, then at 6 months, when they are advised to breastfeed, does that mean the child has a higher risk of HIV transmission? all i said was that i couldnt answer her question as im not qualified and to ask a health worker..but i looked up the answer. for anyone who's interested its here http://whqlibdoc.who.int/publications/2008/9789241596596_eng.pdf?ua=1. A summary is that yes mixed feeding has a significantly higher risk of HIV transmission, and 68% of HIV transmission through breastfeeding occurs after the first 6 months, so stopping breastfeeding at this time, if possible, is recommended. WHO recocmmends countries choose what strategy to suggest for its nationals, and uganda has chosen mixed feeding from 6 months to 1 year. so the answer to her question, the real answer, is yes. however, stopping breastfeeding at this time can mean that infants are then at higher risk of malnutrition, disease and death, in some studies. But still, if I was the doctor in charge of this patient, I would answer her question honestly. I think answering her question at this moment in time would be irresponsible though. I am not an expert on these things, and ive only read 2 reports on this. There is going to be information i don't know, which i would not be able to tell her. giving her the incomplete story is not a good plan. its not responsible. so im keeping shtum.
im getting eaten alive by mosquitoes. i have repellent, which i rarely use. and i have suncream, which i rarely use. but what is the point of having a nice shower, then covering yourself in suncream so it looks like youve been running for an hour? and then getting home after a long and busy day, and because you aren't already dirty and smelly enogh, youve got to make yourself even smellier in the evening?! bloody annoying. but the mosquitoes pissed me off so much ive doused myself and am wonderfully stinking of deet. the mosquitoes should now fuck off and leave me alone.
i talked to laurence about pauline today. I had an idea..he works with compassion and, according to the UK clinical psychologist here, she'd benefit from that kind of input. anyway apparently compassion arent open to registering new children at the moment, but ive emailed their uganda headquarters to check. lawrence agrees that it would be very good for pauline to go to school. so im going to talk to the project manager about her case next week, and see if the only issue is money. Thats fixable. primary school is just £190/year!
Tomorrow im seeing my wonderful little man, Zeke! Who's doing so well :) i keep saying that, don't i? But i dont think anyone knows just how happy i am to see him doing just so well! compared to how he was when i left him. And i've had to wait 5 years to find out! It's just...such a wonderful awesome thing to happen. He was so unlucky in life to start off with, and now he's doing so well, I...well, it speaks for itself :)
I'm exhausted from data collection. Im working on sunday and monday and then it's over! I am looking forward to it being over so I can sleep, but ive really enjoyed properly talking to the women. Ive even learnt some of the local language, luganda. Kati is said often, it means now. olyotya means how are you, an essential greeting in uganda! and jendi means i am well thanks, also an essential component of ugandan conversations. a word that sounds a bit like cashew, means work.
Ive reached half way through my time here. It's far too short, of course. When i left watoto 5 years ago, i remember walking past the gates consoling myself with the thought that id be back in uganda so many times in the future id end up sick of it. I hope I will be able to walk away from this holiday thinking the same thing! as it stands, im only meeting more and more locals who i want to keep in touch with, so hopefully ill only have more reasons than ever to return!
this only happens in uganda!
'Um [translator's name], i'm going to have to step outside for a minute please can you continue filling this form in with this participant?'
'eh?! why?'
'there is a bug in my tshirt'
'a bug?!'
'yes'
'where??'
'in my t shirt'
'ahh ok!'
It wasn't in my tshirt. it was in my bra. i tell you, thats quite disconcerting!
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